Lena and Ole Figures and Joke Books

  The newest Lena and Ole to hit the store are the Lena and Ole bobble heads (they're $24/pair plus $5.00 shipping) which Ole thinks is highway robbery but Lena hope's there's some bobble head collectors out there — actually Ole said they (the collectors) must be bobble heads!  (Actually they're gone from the store BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT THEM LENA WILL ORDER THEM, if she has to!!  She told the wholesaler that talked her into it that no one would want them.  So she returned them to the wholesaler for credit.  NOW THAT'S ONE REALLY THRIFTY NORWEGIAN1!

If you need some more jokes about Lena and Ole (notice Lena always likes to list herself first), we've got lots of the  Red Stangland Ole and Lena Joke books (#1 – #7).  Now Ole says those are a bargain — still only $2.50 each plus shipping  — $1.00 each.  "Cheap, says Ole".    Call 715-698-4111 if you need the bobble heads and/or the books. We'll discuss shipping if you order lots of stuff! 

Joke of the Week: The Swede & the Norwegians

A Swede enters the Wildwood Bar in Woodville where he stopped for the night.  He grabs a barstool and orders a drink.  After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a Norwegian joke? 

The Bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.  In a very deep, husky voice, the woman him says, "before you tell that koke, sir, I think it is only fair — given that you are new here — you should know five things:

1.  The bartender is a Norwegian.

2.  The bouncer is a Norwegian.

3.  I'm Norwegian and a professional weightlifter.

4.  The woman sitting next to me is Norwegian with a black belt in karate.

5.  The man to your right is a Norwegian and a prorfessional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister.  Do you still wanna tell that joke?  The Swede thinks about it for a second, shakes his head, and declares:  "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Thanks to my cousin, Howard, for this great joke!

“Ole and Lena — A Stud and a Hot Dish” — a fun book available at Lena & Ole’s in Woodville

Well, you know how Lena always carefully checks her jokes before she shares them every week on her store flyer — "well, she says, ders dis new book dat is pretty good"  — it's called Ole & Lena — A Stud and a Hot Dish" — – probably da best gift for dat hard-to-buy for Scandinavian guy!!"  Just got in a new supply — only $6.95 plus shipping.  Call 715-698-4111 to order a big supply for Christmas (never too early to start shopping!!).

So here goes… sample joke:  "Ole and Sven were driving in a camper that was 13 feet high when they stopped at an underpass (Lena's always warning Ole about those underpasses on the way to Arizona every January).  Well Ole and Sven saw a sign that read, "low bridge.  No vehicles over 12 feet".  "Vat do you tink, Sven?" asked Ole.  "Vell, dere's no cops around, " Sven answered.  " I say ve hit da gas pedal and go for it". 

Another Lena & Ole Joke

Ole and Lena had dated for many years, and Lena was beginning to think that Ole would never ask her to marry him.  One evening, as they studied the menu at the new Chinese restaurant in Baldwin, Ole asked "Lena, vould yew prefer your rice fried or boiled?"  Jumping at the chance, Lena quickly repllied, I vould like my rice trown, Ole!! And da sonner da better!"  from Charlene Power's Leapin Lena available at Lena & Ole's Gifts.

Lena and Ole Joke of the Week

Lena and Ole and Little Ole were invited to the Swenson's for Christmas.  Stuffed roast turkey was on the menu.  After dinner, Lena asked Little Ole how he liked the dinner.  Little Ole replied:  vell, da turkey was purty good, but I vasn't too crasy about da stuff da turkey ate."

             Adapted from Red Stangland's Ole & Lena Joke Book III  available at Lena and Ole's Gifts in Woodville, Wisconsin.