If you need some more jokes about Lena and Ole (notice Lena always likes to list herself first), we've got lots of the Red Stangland Ole and Lena Joke books (#1 – #7). Now Ole says those are a bargain — still only $2.50 each plus shipping — $1.00 each. "Cheap, says Ole”, call 414-745-4362 or e-mail us.
A Swede enters the Wildwood Bar in Woodville where he stopped for the night. He grabs a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a Norwegian joke?
The Bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman him says, "before you tell that koke, sir, I think it is only fair — given that you are new here — you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a Norwegian.
2. The bouncer is a Norwegian.
3. I'm Norwegian and a professional weightlifter.
4. The woman sitting next to me is Norwegian with a black belt in karate.
5. The man to your right is a Norwegian and a prorfessional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke? The Swede thinks about it for a second, shakes his head, and declares: "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
Thanks to my cousin, Howard, for this great joke!
Well, you know how Lena always carefully checks her jokes before she shares them every week on her store flyer — "well, she says, ders dis new book dat is pretty good" — it's called Ole & Lena — A Stud and a Hot Dish" — – probably da best gift for dat hard-to-buy for Scandinavian guy!!" Just got in a new supply — only $6.95 plus shipping. Call 715-698-4111 to order a big supply for Christmas (never too early to start shopping!!).
So here goes… sample joke: "Ole and Sven were driving in a camper that was 13 feet high when they stopped at an underpass (Lena's always warning Ole about those underpasses on the way to Arizona every January). Well Ole and Sven saw a sign that read, "low bridge. No vehicles over 12 feet". "Vat do you tink, Sven?" asked Ole. "Vell, dere's no cops around, " Sven answered. " I say ve hit da gas pedal and go for it".
Now they have a great new book “Lena is from Minot and Ole is from Uranus — a hilarious flip-flop book!
Ole and Lena had dated for many years, and Lena was beginning to think that Ole would never ask her to marry him. One evening, as they studied the menu at the new Chinese restaurant in Baldwin, Ole asked "Lena, vould yew prefer your rice fried or boiled?" Jumping at the chance, Lena quickly repllied, I vould like my rice trown, Ole!! And da sonner da better!" from Charlene Power's Leapin Lena available at Lena & Ole's Gifts.
Lena and Ole and Little Ole were invited to the Swenson's for Christmas. Stuffed roast turkey was on the menu. After dinner, Lena asked Little Ole how he liked the dinner. Little Ole replied: vell, da turkey was purty good, but I vasn't too crasy about da stuff da turkey ate."
Adapted from Red Stangland's Ole & Lena Joke Book III available at Lena and Ole's Gifts in Woodville, Wisconsin.